Ask the counselee “How can I help you today?”


Ask the counselee: “Suppose if God, in his infinite wisdom and ability, came to you tonight and removed your addiction from your life, what would your life be like?”

Help them understand the reality of their life if they continue down the path they are traveling.


Ask the counselee: “What would God want you to do about your relationship?”

Provide some biblical insight into what God would want them to do:

Matthew 19:7-8     Deuteronomy 24:1     John 4:17-18

1 Corinthians 7:12-16     Isaiah 40:27-28     1 Peter 3:7-9


In putting together a plan of action, the pastoral counselor should take into consideration the following:

  1. Help them find a marriage mentor in the church.
  2. Have them pray daily for their spouse.
  3. Work on conflict resolution.

Resource:  Clinton, Tim and John Trent.  Marriage and Family Counseling. (Grand Rapids:  Baker Books, 2009), 254-262.